這個(gè)家，就像一個(gè)永遠無(wú)法堵上的漏水的木桶。而我，陳旭，就是那個(gè)一邊拼命往里舀水，一邊眼睜睜看著(zhù)水從無(wú)數個(gè)窟窿里流走的傻子。
“老公，我弟那個(gè)工作，領(lǐng)導總針對他，干得不開(kāi)心，要不讓他辭職算了？”飯桌上，老婆林薇一邊給兒子夾菜，一邊用商量的語(yǔ)氣說(shuō)著(zhù)試探的話(huà)。
我扒著(zhù)飯，沒(méi)抬頭：“辭職了，他住哪？吃什么？”
“先住我們家唄，你又不是不知道，媽那房子就那么點(diǎn)大。他一個(gè)大小伙子，總不能跟媽擠一間房吧？”
看，話(huà)術(shù)就是這么練成的。從“讓他辭職”，到“住我們家”，過(guò)渡得如此絲滑，仿佛天經(jīng)地義。
“我上個(gè)月的獎金，是不是在你那？”我繼續問(wèn)。
林薇眼神閃躲了一下：“哎呀，我弟前陣子不是手頭緊嘛，我先借他應應急。都是一家人，你一個(gè)大男人，跟你小舅子計較什么？”
“一家人”這三個(gè)字，是她無(wú)往不利的武器。結婚五年，這三個(gè)字像一道金牌，允許她的弟弟林濤，以及她身后的整個(gè)原生家庭，可以隨時(shí)隨地、無(wú)限制地從我這里攫取資源。
林濤，我那個(gè)著(zhù)名的小舅子，二十五歲，眼高手低，換工作的頻率比我換手機殼還勤。每次辭職的理由都冠冕堂皇：領(lǐng)導是傻子，同事是小人，公司沒(méi)前途。然后心安理得地住進(jìn)我家，吃我的，用我的，順便用我老婆給的錢(qián)，去跟朋友喝酒泡吧，高談闊論他下一個(gè)“必定能賺大錢(qián)”的宏偉藍圖。
而我的老婆林薇，一個(gè)被“親情”深度洗腦的女人。在她眼里，她弟弟永遠是那個(gè)需要被保護、被支持、被理解的“孩子”。她的人生信條似乎只有一條：我弟不就是你弟嗎？我爸媽不就是你爸媽嗎？
我咽下最后一口飯，看著(zhù)她那張寫(xiě)著(zhù)“理所當然”的臉，突然覺(jué)得很累。這不是愛(ài)，這是寄生。我每個(gè)月兩萬(wàn)多的工資，要還一萬(wàn)二的房貸，剩下的一萬(wàn)多，就像扔進(jìn)水里的鹽，迅速溶解在這個(gè)家里，看不見(jiàn)，聽(tīng)不響，只留下一片咸得發(fā)苦的滋味。
“這個(gè)月房貸，你來(lái)還?！蔽曳畔峦肟?，平靜地看著(zhù)她。
林薇的臉立刻拉了下來(lái)：“陳旭，你什么意思？你是不是覺(jué)得我沒(méi)上班，在家吃你的喝你的了？我帶孩子不辛苦嗎？我操持這個(gè)家不累嗎？再說(shuō)了，我弟現在是困難時(shí)期，我們當姐姐姐夫的，不就應該拉他一把嗎？等他以后出人頭地了，還能忘了我們？”
她永遠有道理。一套完美的邏輯閉環(huán)，把所有的索取都包裝成了“付出”和“遠期投資”。
我笑了笑，沒(méi)再說(shuō)話(huà)。我站起身，走進(jìn)書(shū)房，關(guān)上門(mén)。我知道，爭吵是這個(gè)世界上最無(wú)用的行為。它解決不了問(wèn)題，只會(huì )暴露我的無(wú)能和憤怒。
我打開(kāi)電腦，看著(zhù)屏幕上那個(gè)不斷跳動(dòng)的項目進(jìn)度條。這是我拼了命才爭取到的一個(gè)機會(huì )，一個(gè)價(jià)值千萬(wàn)的市政配套工程項目。如果能順利完成，我不僅能拿到一大筆獎金，還能升上部門(mén)總監。到時(shí)候，換個(gè)大點(diǎn)的房子，給兒子報個(gè)好點(diǎn)的興趣班，甚至……甚至可以考慮擺脫這個(gè)無(wú)底洞。
窗外是城市的萬(wàn)家燈火，每一盞燈下，或許都有一個(gè)和我一樣，被生活壓得喘不過(guò)氣的人。但我清楚，我的窒息，不完全來(lái)自于生活，而是來(lái)自于枕邊人那無(wú)盡的“奉獻”。
她奉獻的，是我的血肉。
The tipping point didn't arrive with a bang, but with the chilling silence of a hospital corridor. My son, Lele, had been diagnosed with a severe case of allergic asthma. The doctor's advice was clear: get a top-tier air purification system for our home and consider a specialized treatment course. The total cost was around fifty thousand RMB. It wasn't a small amount, but it was for our son's health—non-negotiable.
"Don't worry," I told Lin Wei, holding her hand outside the doctor's office. "I've been saving up. I have about sixty thousand in a separate account for emergencies. We'll buy the purifier tomorrow and book the treatment."
She nodded, her eyes red. For a fleeting moment, I saw the woman I married, a mother concerned for her child, not the sister shackled to her brother. That moment of shared vulnerability gave me a false sense of security.
The next day, I transferred the sixty thousand to our joint account, which Lin Wei primarily used. "The purifier model the doctor recommended is available online. Can you place the order? I have to rush to a site meeting," I told her in the morning.
"Okay, leave it to me," she said, her voice reassuring.
All day at work, my mind was a mess. I pictured Lele's wheezing, his small face struggling for breath. But underneath the worry was a sliver of hope. We were tackling this problem together, as a family.
That evening, I came home to find Lin Wei looking unusually flustered. The air purifier hadn't been delivered.
"Did you order it?" I asked, trying to keep my voice even.
"I... I was about to," she stammered, not meeting my eyes. "Something came up."
A cold dread began to creep up my spine. I took out my phone and opened our banking app. My hands were trembling slightly.
The joint account balance: ￥87.50.
Sixty thousand RMB. Gone.
"Lin Wei," I said, my voice dangerously low. "Where is the money?"
She flinched. The truth came out in a torrent of defensive justifications. "It was Tao... His business idea... He found a partner, they're starting a new media company. They just needed fifty thousand for the initial investment! He swore he'd pay it back double in three months! This is his big chance, Chen Xu! I couldn't just watch him miss it!"
I felt the world tilt on its axis. The sounds of the city outside faded into a dull roar. All I could hear was the blood pounding in my ears.
"The money," I whispered, each word a shard of ice, "was for Lele. For his treatment. For the air he breathes."
"Lele's condition isn't that urgent! We can save up again!" she retorted, her voice rising. "But my brother's opportunity won't wait! He's my only brother! If he makes it, he'll take care of all of us! Can't you see the bigger picture?"
The bigger picture. I saw it alright. A picture of my son gasping for air while his uncle used his lifeline to fund a fantasy. A picture of my wife, who, when forced to choose between her son's health and her brother's whim, didn't even hesitate.
In that moment, something inside me broke. It wasn't my heart, that had been chipped away for years. It was the last thread of hope, the naive belief that she could be reasoned with, that our small family unit was her priority.
The love I had for her curdled into something cold and hard. It was a tumor of pure, silent rage.
"Okay," I said, my voice eerily calm. I stood up and walked towards the bedroom.
"What do you mean, 'okay'?" she asked, confused by my lack of shouting.
I stopped at the door and turned to look at her. I didn't see my wife anymore. I saw a stranger. An accomplice to the theft of my child's future.
"It means I understand," I said, a hollow smile forming on my face. "I understand everything perfectly now."
That night, I didn't sleep in our bed. I sat in the study, the city lights mocking me. The war was over. My unconditional surrender had been rejected. Now, it was time to plan the annihilation.